June 18, 2010

kesah pulak.

ye. memang aku tengah sedih sekarang. siapa tak sedih bila apa yang diinginkan tak dapat bukan?apa yang jadi? meh aku cerita.

kalau dari kecil lagi aku memang nak jadi doktor, tapi bila aku dapat offer letter dari UTM under scholar MARA, untuk course engineering, aku terima. peluang datang sekali.

i start to enjoy engineering course.

padahal ramai tahu aku nak pergi belajar medic kat mesir.

then, i got a chance to attend an interview for JPA scholarship. i try. as what one of my best friend told me, "give it a try, it wont hurt you anyway". thanks bro ;)

then,

maybe i take for granted. i did not appreciate the opportunity given. serve my right.

just like a big huge massive rock crash down on me. 2.89? what the fish??? thats it. i need to face the fact that i am not that lucky and i am not that smart.

i cant proceed in engineering. it must be science course because of my pointer. it must be above 3.00. i knew it. i am disappointing myself and my family.

about JPA scholarship. i did not get for oversea. they offer me for local. in engineering.

i really hate when i need to be a grown-up and make a choice.

made up my mind. rejecting JPA. just like letting go my dream.

aku tak tahu aku kerja ape nanti. aku tak tahu. aku tak tahu kalau aku ambil kos math, apa yang aku akan dapat. aku tak tahu sama ada aku nak buat rayuan ke tak kat UTM nanti utk engineering. aku tak tahu. aku sedih sebab.

sebab. sebab.

ini bukan apa yang aku impikan. bukan. ;(

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